Love From SG

Night out without me. I'm sad. But as crazy as they always are, they took pictures to send me. Missing people in Singapore right now.

And that includes you as well.

The Truth Is

Well the truth is, I'd never have got to know what you're thinking, yet you're a whirlpool of thoughts in my mind.

The truth is, you'd never have felt a single touch, but your every word is a catalyst to the emotions of my vitreous heart.

The truth is, there aren't many steps left, before you finally walk away.

The truth is, the stars may have aligned, but they collide, crash and burn all the same.

And the truth is, I'd have loved you so much more, if our song hadn't gone off tune.

Hiatus

As I'm on vacation, so is my blog.

Will be back soon.

What's Left To Do Part II

Writing Journalism

• News Feature (900 words) - due 7th June
• Final Report (1200) - 7th June

Net Communication

• Blog (3 more posts: 1 informal, 2 formal) + redesigning of blog layout - 6th June

Sexual Politics

• Essay (2000) - 6th June

Critical Analytical Skills

• Essay (2000) - 14th June

The last hurdle.

Exchange

The thought of going for an exchange in my Year 3 final semester has sparked my interest lately. Come to think of it, it's quite an experience and not much further costs will be incurred, which is the main concern. As such, I guess I'll be planning my course structure for the next 3 semesters to suit this path, just in case I decide to go for it in the end.

Essentially, I'll keep all 4 of my Year 3 Sociology modules for the final semester because there are more options to do Sociology as compared to Media elsewhere. I'm looking at the University of Manchester in the UK, and Scandinavian countries, in particular Lund University in Sweden where Marc went. Not too keen on Finland, Denmark and Norway though but it's worth a thought.

Considerations:

1) Cost. Tuition fees will be the same. How it works is that I'll go for exchange but I'll pay the same fees here at UniMelb. Accommodation-wise I pay for accommodation in country of exchange and obviously I would not be renting a place here in Melbourne when I'm away. So it works out to be about the same in the end. I might even save because school only starts in September in the UK. So from June to August I'll head back to Singapore.

2) On the topic of accommodation, Clarence is planning to go for an exchange in our final semester as well. He's moving out next semester, while I'm staying put to see out my lease. Then I'll probably move in with him again the semester after next. Long story. Anyway the point is, it might be yet another issue if he goes for exchange and I don't, then we'll have to look for someone to take over his part of the rent again.

3) Grades. On exchange, you'll only need to pass your subjects. So far, I guess I can qualify for Scandinavia, UK is probably a tad more difficult to qualify. But by 2 semesters later, I should be able to do it. Working towards that. And by just passing my subjects while on exchange, my 'good' grades can be preserved.

4) Experience. Well, it's always good to experience a different education system and life in another country. To look at it more superficially though, I want to go to Manchester for obvious reasons. And Scandinavia to see the Northern Lights.

Much to think about and the good thing is I still have quite a lot of time to consider in greater detail. Probably there are factors I haven't considered yet as well but tentatively this is it.

What's Left To Do

Writing Journalism

• News Feature (900 words) - due 7th June
• Final Report (1200) - 7th June

Net Communication

• Blog (3 more posts: 1 informal, 2 formal) + redesigning of blog layout - 6th June

Sexual Politics

• Essay (2000) - 6th June

Critical Analytical Skills

• Essay (2000) - 14th June

Get started.

All Smiles

A few of the players after securing the all-important record 19th league title. Photo taken from Rio Ferdinand's Twitter account.

From left: Darron Gibson, Michael Carrick, Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes, Rio Ferdinand, Wes Brown, Michael Owen, Chris Smalling.

Trophy presentation next week at home ground Old Trafford. :)

And then bring it on Barcelona, for the Champions League final.

Totally Random

Just the other night I was watching soccer with Alvin, online that is, and usually his live stream will lag mine by a couple of minutes so I'm always the one telling him whenever a goal is scored. That night he texted me first with a "GOOAALLL!!" and I was quite surprised that this time I was lagging him. Turned out to be that he was just kidding.

So, I decided to let him have a taste of his own medicine. A while later I did the exact same thing to him, but before he could reply and probably less than a minute after I texted him, ManUtd really scored! I was just dumbstruck. And when he asked me who scored I replied so excitedly, "EH ACTUALLY I WAS ONLY KIDDING BUT THEY REALLY SCORED!!"

Talk about being psychic.

p.s. This post is really totally random.

Sexual Preferences

Sexual Politics lecture was rather intense today. Especially when you have a radical feminist lesbian professor who insists that sexual orientation is totally socially constructed, while the whole lecture theatre feels that there are biological factors contributing to it to a certain extent. In the end you get two extreme views and the argument between lecturer and students got pretty heated up.

Personally, I subscribe to the norm, that both biological factors (testosterone & estrogen) and social construction play a part in our sexual orientation. Both are equally important when it comes to how one becomes heterosexual or homosexual.

My professor may be right when she says that we have a choice in deciding our sexual orientation. For instance we can open our minds and accept the fact that we can like people of the same gender. But we're right too, because we have scientific backing. Who's to say who's wrong?

Election Time!

This is why I always feel that army regulars should just stay in the army, for life.

#nobrains

Edit:

Should watch the clips on YouTube where he spoke dialect in political speeches - acting very unclassy. Then again, it is said that he speaks like that so that he can identify with people better. In other words, it's fake. And for someone who studied in RJC, Cambridge, MIT - and a very good speaker at that, I'm not sure if that reason is justified, if it's true, because it just gives him a very fake persona in that sense.

A Whole Lot Of Nonsense With Alvin

"ngiam keng kua sex book" translates to "say prayer while reading sex book, or porn mag for that matter (because I don't know what the hell is a "sex book", haha)".

Because in life, there is always much irony in a lot of things.

"When you embark on a journey together, you walk on together till the end. That's brotherhood."

Knowing me and my phobia for dragonflies,

Someday, someone will be able to make me "catch a dragonfly for ya.."

Yes, for me it's as bad as catching a grenade.

Such a glamorous name don't you think?

I'd prefer to call it the "douchebagfly".

Nauseated by the thought of dragonflies already.

Back to NetComms essay.

Random Thoughts

A night of random thoughts. Yea, as if my essay hasn't kill my brain cells enough.

Blogging from my phone now. And I was just thinking about how I freaking hate it when people say to me "You guess?", regardless of the situation.

"You guess how much this costs?"
"You guess what I had for lunch?"
"You guess how many pieces of shit I pooped out this morning?"

Yadda yadda. Thankfully nobody has asked me the third case yet.

And usually I would just say, "I don't wanna guess. You tell me."

I mean like, why go one big round and tell me the answer. Waste time.
And if you didn't intend to tell me the answer in the first place, why ask me to guess? Waste time.

Alvin and I share this similar issue with uncertainty. He would hand in his essay and immediately hope that he can know how well he did for it. That's just his thing. I'm pretty chill when it comes to academics though. I go by the theory "I did my best, so I'll just wait and see."

But when it comes to other issues, I absolutely hate uncertainty and suspense. Some people can live with it though, ignorance is bliss to them. But definitely not for me.

Let's just all be straightforward people with no reservations, unless of course it concerns a grave matter and by saying things out means that it will cause a detrimental effect or have dire consequences to..whatever. You get my drift. Now that's a different thing altogether. But simple things like, when you feel the need to compliment someone, do it. Or when you wanna diss someone off, do it. It may hurt their feelings, but it's truly how you feel anyway. The bottomline is, tell people how you feel. It's more genuine that way.

Don't don a mask unless you have to literally, like at a masquerade, or if you're a clown or something. Okay, clowns paint their faces but that's not the point.

The world will be a different place, when nothing's too hard to say, be it good or bad.

At least, we're honest with ourselves.

Of Wishes And Reality

You know, I swore off making birthday wishes or any wishes of any sorts. Because I don't believe in them. Tested and proven.

Wishing wells too, from the one in Japan, to the one in Taiwan and finally to the one in Italy. They all didn't come true. In fact, reality turned out worse than what I wished for. It has an amazing tendency to take my wish, turn it 180 degrees round, and accelerate it with the fastest of all speeds.

That's why I gave up making any more wishes.

But that day I still made one over my birthday cake. Because my friends told me to, and I was kinda 'pressured' at that point in time. And so I did, without thinking. Now that I think about it, I should have wished for something that I didn't want, so that maybe, just maybe, I would get something that I actually want or hope for, for that matter.

As they say, "Be careful what you wish for."

Too late for regrets.

I think my counter-wish is acting real fast, and coming true.

Thoughtful Conversations

Was talking to a friend online tonight. Let's just call her Girl A, so that her identity is protected.

PM 11:05:02 Girl A: Andy. U r a really cool person. As a friend and maybe even a boyfriend. Be upset but the whole good guy don't deserve this crap thing is false

PM 11:18:39 Girl A: I wish u could see urself through my eyes

PM 11:18:46 Girl A: Then u would appreciate urself more

PM 11:39:22 Girl A: In all honesty, I just told XX just now, Andy is a very sweet guy n I would like to date him if I was ready

PM 11:39:38 Girl A: See? Very straightforward right

PM 11:41:04 Girl A: So I hope that boost ur ego Abit n make u feel better about urself being a great guy.

PM 11:41:26 Girl A: If not I won't bear my thoughts out so openly to u if I feel that it wouldn't help u

Not that I need a morale booster or anything, that's not the point. Nor am I experiencing a period of low self-esteem and wallowing in self-pity, that would never happen, because I've always believed that one should always love oneself no matter what. The point is, I'm grateful for people like that to put me back on track when the bros are so far away. So thank you, Girl A.

p.s. This is not bragging, either.

Lookalikes

Top: Andy Penders. Ex-colleague of mine at ESPN.

Bottom: Javier Hernandez. Man Utd's new & rising Mexican striker. Nicknamed "Chicharito" meaning "Little Pea".

Okay well, they actually look more alike on tv, the photos don't do justice.

I remember the time when we were at MBS watching Manutd vs Liverpool. Chicharito was playing in that game but he was subbed out before the match ended. And guess who was the presenter of the match show? Haha. And I made a joke saying, "Eh look, Chicharito! No wonder he was subbed out, 'cause he needed to go shower and rush to the studio on time."

It got everybody laughing. Fun times.

WLIIA

Excerpts of news from a game called Weird Newscasters from the show Whose Line Is It Anyway? This show is genius, cracks me up all the time.

"According to a recent scientific report men think about sex every 6 seconds, and because.. *pauses and smiles*"

"This just in.. Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3."

"After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall."

"Psychic convention cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances."

"NASA sends probe to Uranus, people everywhere giggle."

"Veteran British rockers Roger Daltrey, Pete Townsend and John Entwistle broke into an animal hospital today and set free all of the doberman pinschers. The police said that they have now proved that The Who let the dogs out."

"A man who was swallowed whole by a whale escaped today by running all the way down to the end until he was pooped out."

"A fight was started downtown by a man wearing a suit made completely of mirrors. The police said the man apologised once he had time to sit down and reflect."

"The great Zambonee, eccentric human cannonball, known for taking his lucky donkey to all his performances, escaped near tragedy today when the donkey climbed into the cannon muzzle just as Zambonee was taking off. It took the surgeons 3 hours to remove Zambonee's head from his ass."

and my favourite...

"Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer dead at 53. I know it is sad. Over Barcelona today the famed reindeer was hit by a flock of seagulls and a 747. Eyewitnesses report, that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane."

"would it be out of line to say that i love you, a little more than i should. and at the end of the day, when all hope is gone, i still hope to be the one that you'll turn to when you feel like the whole world has turned its back on you; never will i forsake someone like you. because you're beautiful like that. that's how i am. and that's how i'll always be."

Have You Ever

You know, if I were to like a song, the lyrics must be able to relate to how I'm feeling at that moment. That's the first thing I look out for. They don't have to be really poetic, sometimes simplicity is beautiful too. Lyrics over music anytime, it has always been for me.

On the contrary, some people like a song because of its melody. For instance, Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat's "Lucky" is a very nice song, but it's also a very happy song. Don't you feel that you'll like it more when you're feeling happy, yet it doesn't have any impact on you when you're feeling sad? Well, it's like that for me.

I listen to songs almost every night on my bed before I sleep, it's been a habit. I remember listening to Uncle Kracker's "Smile" at one point in time last semester for almost a week, because it literally made me smile just listening to it. And sometimes, you just seek solace in certain songs.

Pretty interesting how my song choices are selective according to my mood, and how they complement it for the night.

"...and so I'll forget about you tonight. I promise. But I'll fall in love with you all over again tomorrow. And every single day."

Stoic; Poignant Yet Strong

A friend asked me today..

"Why do you look so down these few days?"

Well, obviously she knows why, and she was just asking out of concern. I appreciate that.

"I don't know why also."

In all honesty I did not have an answer right there and then. I mean, perhaps I do know what's the reason, but I just didn't know what triggered the moody feelings in particular.

I forced a smile.

And somehow, seeing how Japan is suffering right now, I don't really see the need to smile, that much anyway. Stuff like that affects the whole world in one way or another, and you see people you don't know suffering, trying their best to rebuild and resume their lives again, trying their best to be strong. Inevitably, you would feel a lot for them and a heavy sense of benevolence, 'cause it's just so sad.

How can we then, as observers, laugh, be happy and don't give a damn about anything?

When can we ever be okay again?

Dear Japan

picture courtesy of the age.

Hang in there. When times are tough, don't ever give up.

Soon, all will tide over and you'll grow up,

you'll grow up strong.

The whole world's praying for you.

She's Got You High

A song from (500) Days Of Summer. Very catchy, I like it.

Happy Birthday Bro!

Simi "boy boy"?!

Anyway damn I'm next amongst the 5 of us. Getting old.

Under Maintenance

My understudy from the army texted me on fb chat last night, telling me that he's started applying for his further studies in Australia. Future doctor there, haha.

And today, I texted my Chief Clerk this...

"hello ma'am! this is Andy, my australian number. just saying hi :) anyway sch has just started for Clarence and I and we're doing fine. hope you're good too. take care of yourself, and don't always be angry with the guys. haha."

Don't know what made me think of texting her but you know, things like that, if you could make someone's day and make them smile, why not?

All it takes is a simple text.

---------------------------------

On a separate issue, Marc came over and we cooked bak kut teh for dinner because the pork ribs are left in the fridge for quite a few days now. And we had fried fish with eggs and steak as well.

Not too bad cooking for the first time, as a group that is. Usually I would just cook my own share as Clarence is still eating out most of the time.

Life somehow feels adversely different this semester.

It's A Small World After All

Just last night I met Charlotte, one of Clarence's friends from his secondary school, whom so coincidentally happens to be my ex-girlfriend's long lost cousin. Talk about a small world huh. And Charlotte texted me today when she realised, saying that thanks to me she's found her cousin after so long. Nice.

Somehow, I still do believe that people meet for a reason. Well, for some reason or another anyway. Whoever knew that this random guy would downgrade his PES status in the army, get transferred from the training section of the unit to my office, and be colleagues with me for a good 10 months or so. I'm talking about Clarence of course. And speaking of coincidence again, we realised that we'll be studying in the same university overseas and supposedly taking the same degree. Before he fell ill and couldn't make the trip last semester, that is. And now he's my roommate. Nonetheless, that's what it is.

C'est la vie. Such is life. Sometimes people come into your life, and they stay in it forever. Some people come, and they may not stay. But you know that they have made a difference and an impact in your life so much so that you hope that they would stay, even for just a bit longer. Just so, you know, you could show that you care and you would never wanna leave, no matter what happens or regardless of whether they think the same way. At least you've made your point across.

You can throw away an inanimate object when it gets useless, buy a new one, get it replaced. But humans, we're not inanimate objects. Each one of us are unique and special in our own little ways, and that's what makes every individual amazing, isn't it?

As cliché as it may sound, life is short. Live it up, and tell people that you appreciate them, before it gets too late.

Bernard

So I met this new security guard at my place when I arrived on Friday. His name is Bernard (pronounced Bur-nard) and I think that he deserves a mention.

On Friday night, there was a huge party at the courtyard. Some end-of-0rientation thing. And when I walked back from 7-11 and entered my building, I was stopped by Bernard. Just so unfortunately, I was holding on to a temp card key as they changed all the keys after one semester and I've yet to receive mine. So there he was, suspecting that the temp card key was not genuine. Thereafter, he proceeded to look through the list of residents. Again, my face and name were not updated in the list yet. So I was explaining to him that I've just moved in and everything has not been settled yet. After some comtemplation he said, "Okay, you seem to be speaking the truth. I trust you. You're a good man." Boy, was I glad. Didn't want to go through all the trouble on my first day here just to get into my room.

Subsequently, I met him again last night standing right at the entrance of the building. And we initiated a conversation. I commented that he's very on his job and that previous security guards aren't like him. They slack off in some random corner after a while, not to mention even appearing at 4am in the morning. Bernard then said that this is his job, and he wants to keep people safe. In any case, residents should feel safe when he's around because he will make sure that no strangers or troublemakers hang around in the premises. He cannot tolerate that. And then we went on to talk about life in general. He said stuff like how we must always know our weaknesses but show our strength. In life, we didn't sign a contract to say that okay, I'm gonna be Bernard or I'm gonna be Andy. We're given this life we have and it's up to us to make the best of it. Wheelchair-bound people and the unfortunate didn't choose their lives as well. Therefore, he felt that he would always want to help people and keep them safe. And I gave him a few words of appreciation and he replied saying that as long as people do appreciate him doing his job he's very happy, that is also what keeps him going.

Midway through the conversation, I felt that he's very genuine and noble. A very different feeling I get from the initial 'big burly fierce' security guard impression. And I was thankful that we had this conversation, because things like that make you learn.

"When a door closes on you, a new one opens. Life has many opportunities and so much in store. I can tell that you're a good man. I'm a guard, I can read people fairly well. Maybe you won't get what you want now but it takes time and in future people will realise the good you have in you, and things will come back to you. But maybe by then you would have found something else even better for yourself. Always come out stronger than what you were before. And be true to yourself."

Dear Diary,

Today, I made friends with a security guard.

So Far Gone

Blogging from my phone while waiting for Junwei and Marcus.
It's 2 more days till I step into that departure gate and board the plane back to Melbourne.

I guess I really do appreciate the time spent with family and friends during my return. But somehow, I'm feeling the need to go back, to study and you know, 'resume my life'. Would wanna be busy, occupy my schedule and not waste my time away.

Not surprisingly, one might have two different personalities in two different places. I'm saying might. The question is, when can you really be yourself? And even so, sometimes there are factors which don't allow you to be yourself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not facing an identity crisis, I do what I want, so long as it doesn't have any adverse effects on my life and the people around me. And this is me.

It's never easy being a nomad.

just so you know you did not give me the wrong idea,

i knew it all along.

Dolce.

Back from Italy.

And 16 days to Melbourne.

Once again, just when I've gotten comfortable to life back in Singapore again, I'm leaving once more. It probably feels a tad different from leaving Melbourne a couple of months back, but the general feeling is the same.

And things will always change no matter where we are. At the same time, it will always remain the same.

"Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering."

- Nicole Krauss (The History Of Love)

Ocean Bay Resort, Bintan

I'm back from Bintan. Would have preferred to stay a day longer but it was difficult to accomodate to everybody's schedules. Hmm come to think of it, it's only Junwei's work schedule. Ahh well.

The kelong and fishing pond area.

The little pussy that appeared out of nowhere and stayed around to watch us fish.

Our catch.

This time round we skipped the kayaking, beach volleyball, pool and massage and just concentrated on fishing. Caught many more fishes compared to the previous time and we couldn't finish eating everything in the end. Think I caught about 6-8 fishes.

And.. we spent a lot of time playing monopoly deal. Imagine playing till 5am in the morning because we decided to play 'first to 3 games' at like 3am before we slept. So until the end everybody was damn shagged with the exception of Marcus who slept first; Alvin was angsty, Junwei was yawning and tearing, I started talking shit and Zixuan was just complementing me talking/singing shit too.

Learned Mahjong as well. :)

Food was great. Every meal was seafood and there were like 5 or 6 dishes of mostly fish, crab, calamari, etc. Not forgetting the fishes that we caught which they cooked for us.

Slept for about 5 hours. And I think I dreamt of someone again, which made me even more tired. Hmm.

Overall I guess it's not too bad a trip. Just chill and you know.. forget the world for a while. (not that it could possibly happen but well, it's some form of relaxation.) Guess the company is always essential. The 5 of us will surely have fun no matter where we go or what we do. And we're thinking of going back again already. Don't think I'd have much time for that though, sadly.

Perhaps when you're far away, only then would you realise that you're a little more vulnerable than what you normally are. In a certain aspect, that is.

Patience Not = Result

Hooked on prawning lately (haha pun). Went slightly earlier last night because there's a prawning challenge every Tuesday and Thursday from 7pm-12am. Essentially, if you catch a prawn that's red-taped at its tail for example, you're entitled to a 15 dollars voucher, which is a one hour extension. And the top prize is a black-taped prawn or 30 dollars voucher/3 hrs extension.

Then again, there're only 3 black-taped prawns in the 3 ponds, so chances are quite slim. But guess what, I actually caught one! Didn't realise it until Alvin exclaimed quite excitedly, 'cause I was stoning and when there was a bite I was just like..yay ok, caught another one. Oh well, lucky prawning night. And Marc caught about 4 prawns with his bare hands. Next time, I'm not renting the rod.

The Bintan trip is going as planned, thank goodness. I'm leaving tomorrow morning and coming back on Friday night. Just a short kelong stay and I'm sure it will be fun, especially with the bros. Choosing to put aside some issues, go for the trip and just..chill. Some things can come later I guess.

Going back to NYP next Tuesday to give a talk to the juniors with regards to studying in Australia. I think I'm gonna tell them that Australia is all about play and no work. Have all the fun they want and well, if they've got time to spare, study.

People, they're from the outside looking in. And they don't actually live the story itself. Essentially, what they think is true might not be after all. They think that it is A, but I beg to differ and think that it is B instead.

MBS

And so I was spoilt by my aunt with a night's stay at Marina Bay Sands.

Much thanks to her and my parents.

Also, this is going out to the wonderful company who made it all happen.

Char, who accompanied me for the whole day despite not being able to swim. Nonetheless, it was fun walking around and all. Appreciate it. :)

Zixuan & Jessica, Junwei & Xiao Ling, Marcus & Peiting, Alvin, for one helluva crazy night.

Pictures to show...

Didn't take a picture of the infinity pool but it's certainly a nice and relaxing place to chill. Minus the crowd, that is.

Met Marcus for the first time last night since he returned from Sweden. And he bought me a Man Utd scarf during his trip to Old Trafford. Thanks bro!

Ipod speaker from Uncle Tim, which was supposedly for me to use during my stay at MBS but I didn't receive it in time.

Prawning again tomorrow night! And hopefully, Marc's passport issue can be settled by tomorrow as well.